The Hot Girl-ification of the Objectively NOT Hot

How did tinned fish become sexy? Where did all the hot dogs come from?

Every few months there is a random niche item that inundates my feeds. For a while it was bows. Then it was charm necklaces, chrome hearts, cherries, red tights, skirts over pants. You get the gist. Some items have survived the single season test and have become staples; I’m looking at you Sambas and the boxer short/moto boot combo. The powers that be collectively agree that something is cool and then I cannot escape it for a minimum of two to three months. And this makes sense. Fashion has trends. But my brain is having trouble with the fashionification of non-fashion items, specifically foods. The aforementioned cherries made sense - there were cherry charms and cherry prints. Red was a huge color so this tied together. And cherries are cute! Girls were putting cherry charms on their Sambas and purses.

@emmajdimarcocharms on sneakers pls weigh in !! final product will be on i g tomorrow #adidassamba

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I’ll even go so far as to say olives are acceptable and fashion-adjacent. They come in martinis, and martinis are chic. So, ergo, by association, olives are cool. But this is where things start to unravel.

An assortment of fish tins.

Our first challenger - how did sardines elevate themselves from regular food to fashion food? How many people are really eating tinned fish? And who spearheaded this movement? It’s been recently known that vintage branding is having a revival, so are nicely designed tins enough to make preserved fish hot? Being fashionable these days encapsulates the entire lifestyle, not just the bag you buy, but the staging of your interior decor and the contents of your medicine cabinet and the artisanal health and wellness products you endorse - so why is this the bandwagon we jumped on? Could we not have chosen something a little less salty? (Sorry, this entire paragraph is questions. I am getting existential regarding sardines.)

@rebecaoksana via Instagram - the fashion-ification of sardines at a Desigual dinner

How do we all collectively agree that these items are hot? The most recent culprit of the hot commodification of the random food variety: hot dogs. I’ve been eating Hebrew Nationals since I was a child. (They then turned into Trader Joe’s hot dogs because they are healthier, but no one can ever compare to Hebrew National) I never once considered them an it item. They were a staple at block parties and beach barbeques. There was nothing cool about them then, and while I appreciate their recent rise in popularity, I am simply begging to know the catalyst. As a staunch proponent of the street dog, I support that what were once tablescapes of overpriced lattes and perfectly plated avocado toast have become loaded hot dogs on a New York street corner. Is this the new grunge? Dirty but make it chic? Somehow even Buzfeed is in on it - they posted a video with the caption “It’s a hot dog summer!” Is this all because of the Times Square *checks notes* exploding hot dog?

I’m sorry, I had to.

Is this Costco hot dog tshirt the shirt of the summer?

@lizziedufault @lizziedufault ♬ adam sandler gangnam style - british_hotdog

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And I am sure you have seen the Loewe tomato. You know what I’m talking about. It made the rounds and eventually made its way all the way to creative director Jonathan Anderson, who immediately made it into a bag. Seriously, the turnaround time was mere days. See below to see the evolution of The Tomato.

And somehow we all understand this meme. Obviously this literal tomato is not an outfit. But we understand what it says and means on a deeper level. Ask us to describe it, though, and you’ll never get a straight answer. So, I ask you, how do these objectively not at all fashion adjacent items become synonymous with the “it girl”?

While I thought we were leaving “Tomato girl” in the past, it seems that the tomato transcends time and trend. And tomato girl style overall is less niche than some of its counterpart trends. The goal of the tomato girl is to evoke a feeling of Italian summer, terracotta tiles and lemon trees included.

But what is the aesthetic of the hot dog girl? It seems to be micro mini hot pants (not unlike what we were buying from Forever 21 in 2010) a variation of either the Miu Miu boot or a sock and flat combo, and Canon G7 X flash photos. It is the antithesis of tomato girl. Do we yearn for the festivals of eras past? The bygone time of food trucks and muddy fields? These still exist, but not in the same authentic way they used to. Things are much more curated now - maybe we long for the pre-Instagram outfit vibes? No more effortless linen maxi dresses and headscarves, it’s time for ripped tights and hobo bags covered in charms.

If you want a Hot Dog Summer or are finally ready to embrace sardines and tomatoes, I’ve rounded up some of my favorite and most literal options below. I may be unironically tempted to rock the Clare V sardine top.

1. Simon Miller Sardine tank, 2. Yippee Coke Perfect Ringer Tee, 3. Dsquared2 Hot Dogs Regular Fit T-Shirt, 4. Lisa Says Gah Tomato Tee, 5. Apertivo Oversize Graphic T-Shirt, 6. Lisa Says Gah Robyn Jean, 7. Anthropologie Fiona Tomato Beaded Bag 8. Hot Dog Striped Baseball Hat, 9. Clare V. Classic Tee, 10. Tommy Beaded Bag Staudines Pink (sold out online, but you can preorder!), 11. For Love and Lemons Carla Dress, 12. Rachel Antonoff Howard Dress, 13. Tyler McGillivary Tomato Tote, 14. Lisa Says Gah Harley Tank

And with that, what are you bets for the next food fashion item? I hope it is something niche like Picanto Chorizo - I would gladly be a walking ad for my favorite cured meat.