A Met Gala Stream of Consciousness

The review no one asked for.

May 06, 2025

Every year I look at photos of the Met Gala red carpet, and every year I have thoughts. I post my thoughts on my Instagram stories, much to the chagrin of many of my followers and the pleasure of a much smaller few, but I find myself hilarious and, even at times, dare I say, poignant. As does my mother, and at least two other people. (No, they other two aren’t even my sisters.)

Proof:

This is in no way a deep dive into the theme or an intellectual reflection on the inspirations behind the looks. This was however one of the better themes in recent years, and (most) of the attendants gave it the reverence, respect, and thoughtfulness the dress code required. The theme was "Superfine: Tailoring Black Style," and the dress code was “Tailored for You,” allowing the red carpet-goers a bit of space for interpretation around the idea of Black dandyism and classic menswear.

I could go on for literally ever about menswear, its evolution and impact on the way we dress today, and especially the influence of (often unacknowledged) black designers. I’ve addressed both many times in previous newsletters.

But this is not that. This is a cheeky, maybe even sassy review - the very first thoughts upon seeing each look. This also isn’t every look, but the majority of these photos came from Vogue.com so I tried to go through as many as possible. I will simply express my thoughts on each look, however brief or longwinded they may be. It’s also 1:53 AM - please forgive me for not including names. I really am only focusing on the clothes. If I miss any big names or looks, my apologies.

Zendaya - this is what Blake Lively thought she looked like in the latest Simple Favor movie.

James Baldwin on the right for neckerchief reference.

Huge yes. The James Baldwin-inspired neckerchief. Extra points for not one, but two polka-dotted accessories. He gets it.

More polka dots. This is so Lestat of him. Look at both of their slutty little ties. The silhouette, the slight crop of the jacket, the pleat on the pants, the combo of stripes and Prince of Wales check. 10/10, no notes.

Absolute favorite look of the night. THIS is tailoring at its peak. True art.

This is so dandy. Get this man an oil portrait, stat. Plus: flares. Extra points. Wish he had a cane though.

In theory, yes. However, the tie color is really throwing me off. I also think the shoe choice could have been better. Perhaps a hint of platform? or potentially a lace up boot? It’s giving equestrian pirate on the bottom and spun gold on top. There is a disconnect. But he tried so I’ll give it to him.

Tried to put Jordan Roth on the cover of Vogue but his legs were too. long. The exaggerated flares are teetering on circus stilt costume, but he recovers with a stunning beaded cowl top. I’m a sucker for a beaded mantle/shawl. So, approved.

Tailoring is superb. Not a hint of puckering at a single seam. Especially difficult in satin. A round of applause for the atelier & artisans.

Really good, Whoopie. Really good.

Disappointed but not surprised. This is very on brand for her. It just lacks any sort of vision or statement.

Another lackluster moment. I love Sadie, but this is looking a bit too mother of the bride. Lose the lace and add a bit more hip detail and it would have been *chefs kiss*.

Absolutely love the shape. Incredible. Wish the gloves matched back to the neck tie. And would have appreciated a giant platform a la Prada but alas.

Yes.

Hamburglar if he fell in a vat of bleach and also learned to ride horses. Love a train on a trench though. Is the briefcase this year’s version of the iconic ice rose clutch?

We get it. She’s hot. I wish she did more beyond being hot.

Proof you can make a sick tailored dress. Fit leaves a bit to be desired, but concept is so there. It’s just a tad too wide at the waist and a tad too tapered at the knee.

I know this is a nod to André Leon Talley and the impact of black church communities. However, something about it feels off. It leans a bit too costume, like me showing off all of my beaded collars at once. Also, the pleats could have used a final press so it doesn’t look like cheap poly robe.

The one night to go all out. Yawn.

In theory, yes. But I do think the fabric is swallowing her a bit. And I think there is one too many accessories. Maybe sans glove would have felt more balanced?

Wish it was a different shoe, but the shaping on the top is spectacular. The prettiest tailored cupcake yet.

The office siren goals I am sure we will be seeing on TikTok and Pinterest. Love the band of pinstripe and button detail at the top of the glove. However, I wish there was anything else happening. I know Emma always leans minimal, but maybe a watch chain from the pocket to the waist? Even a glasses chain could have been cool to drape into a necklace in the back.

Actual elevated office siren. The fit is impeccable. I don’t know how she got up the stairs, but this is one of my favorites. 10/10.

Walton, never stop slaying. I love this man. 2025’s take on the codpiece via exposed front fly? More men in skirts.

Me in my thrifted Salvation Army men’s suit asking my friend to take my photo. I also have a cooler bag of Pressed Juicery bottles.

God is Ayo. However, she still looks like the search results for “midcentury modern geo arch” rug on Wayfair. Example located in .02 seconds. I’ve also never seen anything better. This woman is an icon.

And that’s all I have to say about those two.

The sexiest Wonka there ever was. Also huge props to the makers of this - the leather handwork is masterfully crafted.

This could have been spectacular. The top is lacking any sort of structural element however. Would have loved a strong hip and a bit of molding/sculpting.

Almost choked on my toast. Rendered speechless.

I am a Tracee Ellis Ross defender until the day I die. However, my friend said she looks like she is wearing an inflatable costume and now I can’t unsee it.

Can I copy your homework? I’ll change it a little.

Is this the Met Gala? No, this is a Wendy’s.

Or a Victoria’s Secret dressing room. Either way, not the time or place.

THIS dress though it absolute. perfection. More polka dot. More black and brown combo. Also love the blush and faded rose combo. Plus the tux stripe on the pant matches the boot. Stellar. Another favorite.

Another Blake Lively Simple Favor look. Sorry, this whole genre of look is now ruined for me. Also Emily in Paris meets Oceans 8 meets gardening gloves. It made way more sense with the jacket and over skirt. I wish she left the over skirt on. Also, Nick is there. With concepts of a cravat.

I can’t really take his attempts at being a fashion darling seriously. It feels inauthentic. Also, his crotch needs to be ironed. The red and yellow make it feel like a subtle McDonald’s ad. A nod to his uncle?

Sabrina could have done something like this and it would have been infinitely better. This is amazing.

Not much to say here except this is the same twinkle I get in my eye when I spot the table of bits n baubs at the flea market. Brooch included, because I own this brooch (or a similar concept, I don’t have millions of $$$).

No. (This take was a hit.)

Have a lot of confusing thoughts about this one. No matter the inspiration, Anne’s doesn’t feel effortless in the way Sharon or Carolina did.

Venom went to space.

Absolutely adore. A take on female dandyism inspired by Josephine Baker. This isn’t just flapper for flappers sake, this is a reimagining of history. Spectacular.

“[…] featuring an oversized dandy-inspired bow at the back. The high neckline meanwhile, is a nod to the classic cummerbund.” (from Elle) Even Lorde’s cummerbund reference was better than this one. I’m bored. I don’t buy it.

How is it that Zac Posen for GAP blew everyone out of the water? This is STUNNING! Never has a waist been so cinched and a cuff been so wide.

This is kind of amazing. If Jim Carrey in The Mask went to fashion school and was into antique embellishments. I love the embellishments.

Annie, are you ok? Also, that’s what you missed on Glee.

See also: me giving side eye to the Sweetgreen employee who put 3 pieces of chicken in my salad and then charged me $18.

I know everyone and their mother is probably throwing up because Rhianna showed up, but we saw this silhouette from Taylor Russel and Ariana last year, both from Loewe. I honestly like their iterations better. Not bad, just not in love.

And Kylie wore the same silhouette. The slit is too high in my humble opinion, and the shoes don’t match.

I understand it. Doesn’t mean it’s not boring.

This is all I could think about. Very tallit.

Kind of very upset that they wore the same outfit. And that said outfit was just obvious product placement.

Literally best look of the night. I will think about this for years to come. The cape inside of the cape. The red pinstripes. the brooches. the exaggerated chain and stunning lapel. This is art.

She does not get enough love. Every year she blows me away. This is no exception.

Her whole vagine is out.

I am starting to question if she is real.

I like it, but she also looks like a high school principal in a 90s rom com.

Doechii!!! She took inspiration from the book Slaves to Fashion: Black Dandyism and the Styling of Black Diasporic Identity and reinterpreted the character Julius Soubise. But she remained true to herself. She always shows up so authentically herself. I love her. And she looks so dandy.

If Nosferatu slayed (no, I didn’t see the movie). Very vamp meets Area meets Studio 54 cowboy.

Two spectacular examples of boxy suiting, sans lapel, done right. Must find similar options for myself ASAP.

This literally makes no sense to me. This is Riley Keough as Daisy Jones (Daisy Jones and the Six) inspired by Stevie Nicks cosplay. So I’m not seeing the connection.

I hated this until I realized I actually loved it. SHE’S A TIE. Wish the stripes lined up at her waist though.

I miss who I was before I saw this. It wasn’t even that bad until I realized it was nude boyshorts below the bodysuit yet on top of the tights. Also, the lapel is cream, the shorts are nude, and the shoes are I think silver. There is WAY too much happening. May I suggest instead a sheer black lace maxi. Same concept, no diaper.