A Met Gala Commentary

And roast. It was mostly bad.

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Before we begin, I must say my piece. (This is long, feel free to scroll to the commentary portion.) The MET gala, previously lauded as a beacon of artistry and taste, has been coopted and corrupted by tech bro billionaires and their plastic wives trying to buy their way to the pinnacle of culture. It almost makes me feel better that the only way these vultures could participate is by buying their way in.

via @instamyodell on Instagram

On the heels of The Devil Wear’s Prada 2 and the discourse surrounding the precarious state of fashion journalism and taste as a whole, this year’s billionaire boys club MET Gala is served up to us on tacky silver platters during an incredibly unsustainable age of bread and circuses. This year’s ticket price is $100,000. Jeff Besos is worth $275 billion dollars. The average American household income is $80,730 a year. Two weeks ago, an Amazon worker died on the warehouse floor as supervisors told his coworkers to ignore him and continue working. (You know it’s bad when even the New York Post runs this headline.) ZipRecruiter states, “Some of the highest wages a worker can make at Amazon Warehouse are in the job titles Warehouse Associate ($48,000), and title Material Handler ($40,000) which are the highest paying jobs at Amazon Warehouse.” The divide in both our country and globally between the working and upper class has never been higher. According to the Federal Reserve, the top 1% of households in the United States held 30.5% of the country's wealth, while the bottom 50% held 2.4%.

So, understandably, many have opted out of consuming MET Gala content this year. Wheat-paste posters have popped up around New York with wordage along the lines of “Boycott the Besos MET Gala.” The New York Times put together a decent explanation here. On the eve of the gala, a video of 72 year old Amazon warehouse worker Mary Hill was projected on the side of a downtown Manhattan building. Her frustration is palpable as she expresses her anger towards a system built on the back of the working class, saying, “When we struggle from paycheck to paycheck, from week to week, it really angers me. Because if it weren’t for every associate in every Amazon facility, he wouldn’t have all those zeroes behind his name. […] The people that need to be celebrated at the Met Gala are the workers. People like me. We deserve so much more than we are getting. There’s power in numbers. And there’s more of us than there are of you. Remember Jeff, ordinary people like myself that help make you billionaires, if we built it, we can tear it down.”

I do my best to keep my money local (and as far away from Jeff as possible), support small businesses, and buy vintage and secondhand. But on a night like tonight, which is a fundraiser for the Met’s Costume Institute, I do believe that 1. we should be roasting the tastelessness that money simply cannot buy and 2. we should be supporting and uplifting the incredible work done by those behind the scenes: designers, ateliers, stylists, assistants, PR girlies (and boys), HMUA teams, event designers, drivers, publicists, hotel staff, those hot guys that stand on the red carpet, and a whole lot of other people who I am definitely forgetting. None of this would be possible without them. As Mr. Mayor Mamdani was quoted saying in i-D:

And so I, like I often do, will continue my tradition of an unhinged, sometimes complimentary, often deeply appalled review of this once-iconic Upper East Side staircase. And, like I said, I appreciate all the work that goes into just one dress (I won’t say suits because at this point, why even bother showing up in a black tux) featured on the red carpet. However, that will not stop me from saying I, subjectively, do not like something. May I remind you of Karlie Kloss’s “Looking camp in the eye,” only for her to show up in something you’d find in the Queen Mary section of a Spirit Halloween. And at the end of the day: it’s becoming really hard to enjoy fashion. We want one night a year to appreciate fashion and art. We being the fashion girls. So I guess I will do my best despite the circumstances.

Now, without further ado, let’s get to the portion you came here for: my thoughts. This year’s theme is “Costume Art” and the dress code is “Fashion is art.” Take a shot for every picture frame or printed painting we see.

Ok, i’ve since looked at most of the looks. I was overarchingly incredibly disappointed. We are rapidly losing critical thinking skills. Art theory exists for a reason. There were so many literal interpretations, a few very bad references, and a lot of completely unrelated body-con draped Di Petsa reductions. I went into this optimistically, but most of these looks were a huge miss for me. Let’s just get into it, I guess. Please also note - these are first impressions. I looked up the inspiration behind a few looks, but to do that for each and every attendee would take hours. This is just immediate take-it-at-face value reactions. I’ve been looking at red carpet looks for the past three hours, and I am losing steam. I have been tested. My resolve is in question. I am losing faith. Join me, in no particular order, as we spiral down the rabbit hole of bad taste.

THIS is one of the few looks I genuinely enjoyed. I am a sucker for a ruff. I am a sucker for fringe. This is fashion meets just enough camp. I do wish they left the feather hem at home. It’s leaning a little bit lingerie robe.

Queen Elizabeth I and her famous ruffs.

I am agog. I am aghast. Has Schiaparelli died at last? Her husband is worth $275 billion and her body is worth half of that. And yet, David’s Bridal was front and center on the carpet. Yes, I know this isn’t David’s Bridal. But would you believe me if I said it was?

What did John Singer Sargent do to deserve this!? They couldn’t even give it an ounce of draping!?

This is what I would have worn in college when I had a last minute Halloween party. I would have said I was Spike from Buffy.

This has been done before, it will be done again.

This looks like it would be a costume from the critically acclaimed CW show Reign. (Very much known for its incredibly inaccurate costuming.)

I love the ballet flats. However, I can only think of the following two things the longer I look at this:

This SNL skit that I quote weekly. “Did you bring a bang to a bob fight!?”

And KJ Apa’s alter ego, Mr. Fantasy.

Do you think the girls had a peackock-off after dinner? Nicole said, “I wanted something red because I wanted to embrace the way red has been used in art over the years.” groundbreaking. I don’t know what Lena had to say about her look, but can we please stop trying to make the rockstud happen. It’s not going to happen. I would have much preferred a patent red pump or platform. But again, nobody asked me. And also, I doubt she had much say. Valentino says rockstud, so rockstud it is.

Not sure how they got this picture of me in the morning. Untrimmed bangs and all. Not sure about the bedsheet for the Met.

I love Emily Blunt’s style. I just wish there was more drama. Perhaps a pant leg train? Also, lose the pearls and trade them for some cording. Lose the bracelets entirely.

Possibly my favorite look of the night. GIVE ME DRAMA!!!! Give me useless tiny hat!!!!

Love. Love. Love. Not sure if it fits the theme at all, but I like the pannier detail. She’s hot so she looks great.

I’m pretty sure i made this dress in college when I had to make a look out of garbage bags. I also just realized it has sleeves and I hate that.

This was the biggest disappointment of the night. This man is a literal clown. He went to clowning school. He knows how to fuck around. Where is the whimsy? Why must Saint Laurent be so boring?

Hudson was also there. I am obsessed with the outfit. The folded waistband. The dramatic pankou closures. The TRAIN. However, I saw his eyes and everythign was ruined. I will forever associate this look with children doing their father’s makeup. Apparently the inspiration was black swan, but come on guys, the wings aren’t even sisters. They’re distant cousins. Also, not sure what black swan has to do with this look.

I am fairly certain this was happening in the back of the car. It’s the only logical reason for those eyes.

Joseph!!!! This is his best look ever, hands down. Taupe, mustard, and black. Incredible.

A HORSESHOE SUIT PANT. Be still my beating heart. THIS should be the standard for menswear. Absolutely impeccable.

Another freshman year frat party DIY. The theme is toga party. The dress is Forever 21. The flowers are me, some wire, tin foil, and gold spray paint 30 minutes after we were supposed to arrive.

This is Elizabeth Swan.

This is also Elizabeth Swan.

This is Elizabeth Swan’s loyal sidekick. I love this. I would be happy to spar with this gent. Look at those toes. SO much going on I just can’t look away.

Beautiful. Sad Barbie cake. Not sure how it relates to the theme at all.

Van Gogh would be rolling in his grave.

This was the inspiration. And that is what you came up with!? The artist known for his color!? His movement!?

The archives exist! Use them! Yves Saint Laurent Spring-Summer 1998.

This brought me immense joy. This woman is a goddess who can do no wrong. I don’t even care that the hat looks like Jack Sparrow had a whole lot of Michaels coupons, a classroom of Montessori children, and a dream.

One of the best of the night. Fully obsessed with the palette knife texture at the bodice.

In case you don’t know what a palette knife is.

Objectively great. But this is the Met gala. Can we get this girl an accessory?

This is Kim K’s water droplet latex dress if she knew about fashion history.

This makes a lot of sense for a woman who thinks she is an astronaut.

Maybe she’s trying to become Melania’s best friend.

A lot of tit grabs. Maybe this is Melania’s robot sleep paralysis robot.

Wow. Incredible. Never been done before.

Sike. This was Taylor Russel in 2024.

Boob grab 2/3. This feels like it should be on Love Island.

Boob grab 3/3. Not so Love Island. More Nosferatu.

I have no explanation for this other than he is a theater kid. I know this is a reference to A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte by Georges Seurat. One of history’s most famous works. And yet it still looks like a craft project. As Vito Corleone once said, “Look how they massacred my boy!!”

The Bridgerton opening credits & the Bridgerton house.

I imagine this is a post-credit Handmaid’s Tale scene. The women reclaim their autonomy by wearing white, but keep the red gloves to remember their past. Idk. I’m delusional at this point. The flowers represent rebirth?

Disappointing. One of the most unhinged Gen Z celebs. Let your freak flag fly, Tyriq.

This had so much potential. But the bodice is fit weird. And the necklace is way too heavy. I would have preferred a lariat necklace. Maybe a citrine stone.

Me making Valentine’s day cards out of red doilies at Montessori.

Ok, apocalypse! Don’t have to remind us where we are headed!!! At least nature prevails.

A man with a cool jacket! The bar is low!

I really, really wanted to like this. The inspiration was Tom of Finland, a biographical film about a WWII veteran returning to a homophobic and repressive Helsinki. Incredibly important subject matter, but I can’t help thinking he looks like a stripper.

Ok, Chloe! In Colleen Allen! I absolutely adore this dress. I would wear it, 10000%. Just not to the Met Gala.

One of Anna’s best looks of late. Had to remind everyone she’s not dead yet. Can she please get new shoes though.

I wish she didn’t look like she was wearing skims.

Bride on the left, baby shower on the right. The 2026 version of business in the front, party in the back. We live in a fast-paced world. Two birds, one stone. Get ‘er done.

I need this suit expeditiously. As for her, I think there is one too many things going on. She could have lost the bag. Or the necklace. I like the hair.

I really need her to get a new tailor.

Absolutely impeccable. LOVE the hint of exposed bra cup. love the draped sleeve cape. Just wish the shoes were black. And a drop earring would have been great.

Nepotism is a helluva drug. Have fun at school tomorrow. (I’m not hating on a child. I just don’t know why she was there.)

This is so. much. fun. I am utterly enchanted by her cute little smirk. None of these things go together, which makes them go together so well. The art of pattern mixing and putting all the wrong things together to make something oh so right. And I love the shoes. No strappy prom heels here! Wish she had a little bag that matched the brocade of the shoes though.

I like this a lot. She looks comfy. Love the accessories.

This could also be worn to the toga frat party.

This also feels stripper to me. And why are the armholes so tight. Can he even move.

I’d like to be buried in something like this. This is beautiful. The men loved capes tonight.

Anotha one. Love the hint of wing. Could be a Winged Victory reference. Could not be. Who knows. Probably google.

More cape. More beauty. Absolutely stunning. I hope this was machine embroidered for the sake of artisans hands everywhere.

The rough draft.

The final draft. This feels like if Iris Van Herpen had a baby with Mugler.

The dress is great. The shoes are sickening. Together, I hate. An easy solution: 1. make the shoes were petal pink, or 2. make the neckline and bow wine.

I gasped when I saw the fan. These are absolutely stunning. And I’m obsessed with the completely useless tassel.

Yawn.

The only nepo sibling I accept. However, yawn.

A Jenner in a bodycon draped dress. Yawn. Apparently this was a nod to the Winged Victory.

However, this is my Winged Victory. But please, for the love of god, can we find a new shoe. I don’t often advocate for a white pump, but I would have preferred that there.

At least it’s not a black blazer?

I have no thoughts other than, “And then a splish-splash, I jumped back in the bath
Well, how was I to know there was a party going on?”

Finally. Some good fucking food. So happy to see you here, Mr Robert Wun. I am however disappointed in the execution compared to the runway. I don’t like how obviously mannequin the arms look. I also don’t like the placement of the knee seam and how obvious the lack of lining is in the skirt compared to the body. Would have loved to have kept the veil. Oh well, beggars can’t be choosers.

Prom. Which absolutely devastates me to say given the reference: Girl in Pink Dress by Laura Wheeler Waring. Given how huge 20s silhouettes are right now and the fact that drop waists and loose flapper skirts are having a huge moment, this was a missed opportunity to full embrace the original subject matter. A layered chiffon drop waist skirt would have been beautiful.

We have let Heidi get away with far too much for far too long. All I can think of is the worm. This also feels like a sculpture of the Statue of Liberty if the artist had never actually seen said statue. Edit: it appears the reference was Veiled Vestal by Raffaelle Monti. I think it’s so jarring because her face is so so obvious. The closed lip smile makes the whole thing feel like a literal costume. Not in the kind of costume that the Costume Institute references. Costume, in a fashion sense, refers to distinctive, traditional dress from specific historical eras. Not Halloween.

Jumpscare!

This hair and makeup is incredible on her. The neckline is beautiful. And then the rest looks like a Blades of Glory ice skating costume.

Now THIS. is. INCREDIBLE. I am obsessed with the drapery. The neckline. The bodice. And THE LASHES.

She came from the Kentucky Derby and didn’t have enough time at the hair salon.

As a self proclaimed slut for a notched lapel, this was one of my favorites. The hand beading is also sickening, I just can;t get over that collar.

If Tron and Bridgerton had a sad, Edgar Allan Poe emo baby.

If said sad emo Edgar Allan Poe baby went to Ibiza and was sponsored by Revolve.

Chase Infinity, I’m becoming very fond of you. Thom Browne, beading, and fringe. Now that’s what I call music.

Does Helsa have a red carpet line?

Does Fashion Nova have a red carpet line!?

Slay, mama! Literally. Love the peplum. Love the sheer lattice windowpane. Love the wingtip mules.

I’m TIRED. WHAT ARE THOSE SHOES.

It’s just giving weird sci-fi movie.

Damn, the Super Bowl really ages a guy. I love him.

This was referencing the painting The Execution of Lady Jane Grey by Paul Delaroche. It’s a good modernization of the dress she is wearing. However, I beg of her to close her mouth just once.

Looking camp right in the eye. Jonathan Anderson has done incredible things at Dior. I wish you could tell from this look.

A flower because she’s a woman in bloom. I do like her take on an orchid though: “Orchids are found globally,” she says. “They are not a regional flower—they belong to various lands—so in my mind, they have always been grounded in unity. And while they look delicate, orchids have this resilience and strength in their architecture.”

I usually love Sarah Paulson. However, wearing a dollar bill as protest to the Besos Gala is as tone deaf as it gets. Either go and suck it up, or don’t.

Another from the Helsa red carpet line.

WE THOUGHT SHE WAS FREE!!!! Margot, blink twice if you landed in an alternate reality where you’re still shackled by Chanel.

Now that’s what I call art! I’m so glad she didn’t shy away from accessories. This is a designer who put in real effort.

This reminds me of the short story The Yellow Wallpaper. It’s about a woman who goes descends into psychosis and starts seeing a woman trapped in her yellow wallpaper.

In reality, the reference was Gustaf Klimt’s Mäda Primavesi. I love it.

I nearly shed a tear when I saw this. A tear of joy. Because it isn’t a 60s “reference.” It is, still referencing. The film negatives are from the movie Sabrina. Reminds me of Jenna Ortega’s ruler dress from last year.

If I was a frog, we would be best friends. I love the shoes. If you’re going to do a strappy open toe, make it these. I love the pom pom earrings. I love the sickly chartreuse. My fashion muse forever.

I give her a 20% handicap because she styles herself. However, those boots are an affront to the rest of the look. A platform heel would have solved every problem. Also, a matte tight would have helped.

Prom, but with feathers.

The yeti if he served cunt.

Peaky Blinders meets Oliver meets McNally Jackson performative male. Hat so big because it’s full of books. So bespectacled. I feel like he would try to impart niche wisdom that I didn’t ask for. About like sourdough bread or something.

Take off the ruff and it’s perfect. I need these heels IMMEDIATELY.

Kind of bummed it’s a straight up runway look though. Glad they changed the shoe.

HEAVE, HO. HARD TO PORT. WE SAIL AT DAWN. This is the face I imagine many parents make when they have to attend their child’s school play and their child’s role is “wave” and they run around the stage making the fabric ripple while their friend pretends to row a canoe.

It’s a reference to The Temptation Of St. Anthony. Fragment II by Leonora Carrington. It saddens me to see the color removed from so many of the original references. They also somehow made it steampunk.

Proof of declining art literacy. Referencing Ode on a Grecian Urn by John Keats.

Best Sombr has ever looked. I need.

I hate the fit of this. She looks foreshortened.

This made me feel physically ill.

I’d like to Burrow this. Get it? Burrow? Borrow? I need to go to bed.

Another yawn.

If I get death threats, it’s because I hate this.

And this.

And especially this. For the MET GALA!?

Now this I can get behind. The stand collar. The gold beading. the CAPE. A baggy pant that still fits. Men, take notes. Cream shoes could have been cool.

At this point, we’ve lost the plot. I like it. But I’m also so confused. However, points for effort.

This is one of the best menswear looks of the night. Every girl on Substack, myself included, is going to be trying to recreate this. As they should. As is their right.

Another great menswear look. aside from the insane beaded bodice, the slight flare and almond toe are great.

Vogue wrote, “Edgar-Jones and her stylist, Dani Michelle, spent months sending references to one another of corsets and bodices, trying to figure out exactly how to honour a woman’s body in a way that felt both artistic and elevated.” I feel like we might have figured that out, at least like two years ago. Edgar-Jones said, ““It just felt like it really honoured this idea of costume, art and fashion.” Sure.

And this was my 13th reason and the moment I tuned out completely.

I know I missed a bunch. However, this would be book length if I wrote any longer. If you made it all the way to the end, kisses to you. I hope I provided a chuckle. With that, I need to log off and maybe read a book.

Until next time,

K