On Growing Up and Refining Personal Style
It's been there all along, I just wasn't listening. Sometimes it takes a step back and an outside perspective. So, here goes - summing my style up in one outfit.
I polled some friends and asked them, “If you had to sum me up in one outfit, what would it be?” The Instagram story responses were less than helpful (A trash bag, Grandpapi - this makes a bit of sense if you have the background info of me dressing like a grandfather, an elaborate tree costume(?) - you get the gist) but the text responses made me feel seen. Some of these people I’ve known my entire life (ie: sisters) so they’ve had to bear witness to every horrible fashion phase. The Abercrombie tanks (yes, more than one; the hint of a different colored hem had my mother tearing her hair out over the sheer amount of laundry I was producing) layered under the Abercrombie polo with the low-rise Abercrombie micro mini denim shorts. The Juicy Couture sweatsuit. The skin tight skinny jean with over the knee suede boots and a classic college “going out top” (probably a cheap Charlotte Russe corset).
But I am a full fledged adult now. I buy my own groceries and pay my own bills and wear what I want! And I can buy (somewhat) nicer things with my adult money than I could in high school and college. I’ve also acquired something that just simply takes learned life experiences and time - a better sense of who I am, which in turn translates to taste and personal style. (Although you could say my middle school and high school taste were very of the time, and I was just a budding icon.) And not to brag, but I did win “Best Shoes” as my senior superlative, and no, I do not think I peaked in high school, but that was pre-Instagram algorithm so obviously I was doing something right. I even bought a pair of Tibi boots as my first designer piece, so I was definitely on to something.
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As I’ve grown up, I’ve learned, through lots of trial and error and probably even a few shed tears, what looks good on me and what I feel good in. So, without further ado, the general consensus of my go-to uniform: jeans, boots (heeled and/or pointed), a blazer, a baseball hat (this is for function ladies, ok, the bangs hate the wind), my vintage rings, and a deceptively large bag. I’ve included the receipts so you can laugh along with me.
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I bought my first staple blazer(s) - it was actually two, one black and white plaid, one navy plaid - on a study abroad trip to South Korea. I arrived in a terrible nylon blazer jacket (RIP LF, you were overpriced and the most trendy and I loved you, and I’ve since realized the error of my ways), skinny jeans, and Air Force 1s, and left a blazer-wearing, cartilage pierced, 21 year old ready to take on the New York City fashion scene.
In college, I started to develop the roots of my personal style. Freshman year I scoured the internet for the limited edition white snakeskin Stan Smiths (I found on eBay for $40 for your reference, oh how the demand has shifted) and wore them until the suede on them was practically black. I moved on the the Airforce 1s, and then eventually treated myself to a pair of Golden Goose sneakers during my graduation trip to Rome & Paris - what better excuse to buy them than a trip to the city where they are made? I spent a lot of money on this trip, but it was the first time I felt like I had a vision for the style I wanted to have. The white staple sneaker has always been a part of my wardrobe, despite the style changing. The blazers from Korea had been the catalyst to move beyond jeans and a sweatshirt every day (in my defense, at this point I was in college, spent all my money on fabric and materials, slept an average of 4 hours a night, and spent everyday of the week in the studio, so this was an issue of comfort), and this trip helped me to get outside of the bubble of my everyday life and explore fashion beyond what Philly offered me (I went to school at Drexel, I’ve since moved to New York and have worked in both design and styling, where fashion is on an entirely different level than the limits of my college campus).
The beginnings of my love affair with pointed boots and tailoring (2017). The Tibi boots in action, and an (albeit terrible) tailored vest. I still wear the bones of this outfit almost daily.
Another classic outfit back in 2019. I still have this top, and I still love it for summer. I bought this Alexander Wang-esq bag at Brandy Melville and thought I had reached peak fashion. I wore it until it actually fell apart, but it was my pride and joy.
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I saw this woman on the subway yesterday. I haven’t seen this bag worn in years, and seeing it the same day I started writing this newsletter post felt like a sign from the universe. The bag doesn’t feel dated - instead it feels like a piece that she loves. If it is truly your style, it doesn’t matter if the pieces you have are new or old. It’s all about how you approach styling them. In this case, she put together a timeless look that was accessorized with a metallic bag and a hint of sneaker - and because personal style is, well, personal, it makes sense to have pieces in your wardrobe that stay with you through all phases of your style evolution.
The Korea blazer in action in 2019. I bought these Golden Goose sneakers on the first day of this trip, and wore them around Rome and Paris thinking I was the hottest. While I don’t have this exact pair anymore, I wear this Ballstar pair in my regular rotation. And I bought this croc bucket bag from an amazing man in Rome, and while I don’t wear it as often anymore, I still love it.
Looking back on my post-high school years, you can still see my style DNA. While the silhouettes might have changed, this is the perfect example of how to adapt your own style to fit current trends. I’ve always gravitated towards jeans and a tee or button down, more often than not with a blazer on top, and either a white sneaker or boot, or more recently a loafer. The above photos are definitely reflective of their respective eras in fashion, but looking back on them I can clearly see the underlying throughline of my personal style. I am a denim lover through and through. I love tailoring and a good pair of boots. Putting this article together has helped me to realize which pieces I should spend the time researching and curating and as a result spending more money on.
Below you’ll see I’ve put together some of my outfits photographed over the last year or so. Looking at the overall themes and concepts, it’s much easier to break down the categories I gravitate towards. (I’m saving some of the super recent stuff for a different post). And back to the original point of this very winding article - my staple pieces.
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I’ve been struggling with what my style truly is recently, going back and forth between trends I see on TikTok and classic, more timeless looks. While I lean towards classic, I previously had been trying to force myself into wearing what I saw online, because if that’s what was cool, who was I to say otherwise? But as I wrote in this post, why are we aiming to look like everyone else? I get it - in a world of influencers and everyone wanting to be invited to fashion shows and get free PR, the bottom line is engagement. So following trends might spike your reach initially, because we are always looking for others to copy and emulate, but in my own personal experience, I was just left feeling a bit lost when I really took a step back and looked at my closet. And honestly, at this point in my life, I would so much rather focus on who I genuinely am and who I am becoming, and in turn how I that is perceived in my style - and if that doesn’t get me followers, so be it. And the above photos, which seem the most me, don’t include anything TikTok trend related. No super low rise belts and chiffon fairy tops, no coquette lace skirt and sports jersey combo,
This whole post was honestly just a reminder to myself to listen to my intuition when it comes to purchasing pieces and putting together outfits, so I apologize if it was a bit long-winded. It sort of took on a life of its own as I delved into old photos, but reflecting on my old style has proven to me that I do know what I like and what looks good on me. I encourage anyone reading this to do the same. Take a step back and look at the bigger picture of how you got to where you are today, and you’ll almost definitely see a correlation between then and now.
oooo i like the exercise of taking photos of your outfits and comparing to find the similarities. loved this reflection on your personal style!
I can REALLY appreciate that you have had a strong style sense for a long time and you can see your origins even in your current day to day. I honestly think it’s so fun to see pictures of people’s older outfits because you can see the parts of them that translate to their older (more monied) self. How we dress when we’re broke says everything!